Posts Tagged ‘hobbies’

So often I become involved in a grand idea. Whether it is a new past time, hobby or any other means of distraction. I put so much effort into it that eventually I am burned out by it and lose all interest. This really is a regular cycle for me. One that I truly despise but have come to expect that it is part of who I am. Last night I finally accomplished something that is more of a personal victory than anything else recently in my life. Too many people it may not be a big deal or may just be another crazy idea that I am putting all of my heart into. To me though this is something I can finally hang my hat on. Last night at around 10:45 pm I reached the monthly target of 50,000 words, which roughly translates to a novel of about 175 pages. This is the goal of the National Novel Writing Month better known as NaNoWriMo.

This is the first time I have been successful at it, having only really competed one other time. That time I gave up on it like I have with so many other things in my life. I even had a good start and a good idea for a story as was told to me by a good friend. I still have this partial first draft and may revisit it in the future. This is a big thing to me. One of those moments I want to shout from the roof top, if not for the fact that people may believe me to be losing my mind. Now I have to refocus myself on completing my novel in the time frame of the month, which is my personal goal I have set for myself. I do not know how long my story will end up being but I have twenty days to reach that goal.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am holding back on the ideas of grandeur. I know that this is not something I should inflate my hopes too much with. It is still and will always be a dream to be published some day. To be honest though i don’t know if anything I am writing is any good. I will say this though. Some of the characters are feeling more and more alive to me. The character of LC Everett, my private detective seems to ring the loudest with me. There is something about his honesty and drive for the truth and the way he wants to protect his friends that has me drawn more into him than anybody else. It is becoming easier and easier for me to write the chapters that ivolve him because the words come to life inside my head and I just have to do what I can to transfer them to my fingers.

Anyways I just wanted to share in my jubilation. Nanowrimo, check. Novel completion, next on the list. Time to keep plowing ahead.



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My mind is a machine that is never at rest. It rarely stops moving or flashing from thought to thought, memory to memory. For the most part this is not a good thing. There are times though when this can be used to my advantage if I am able to focus those thoughts in a certain direction. Nanowrimo has given me that oppurtunity and it really is amazing how quickly things can change.

I know this is only day number 5 but I have already noticed a few things. Once I started to think of a story to write it seemed that all of my free time is spent thinking of where I am headed and working out different possibilities. Usually I am filled with depressing thoughts and so many “what ifs” and “Could have done betters” that I want to scream and pull my hear out. It is the nature of my mind. Having something positive to focus on is a wonderful relief. The empty moments are filled with somthing constructive now. When I think of these things I just feel better that I am trying to accomplish something and not just dwelling on things that I can no longer change. These thoughts are centered more on a future that I am still building and creating, even if it is only in a fictional world.

Granted, I realize that I don’t even know if what I am writing is any good, to be honest I don’t really care. I just want to keep working on it, and I desperately hope that I can maintain this even after nanowrimo is done. Nano may have been the catalyst that started me on writing again, I need to take the initiative though to keep fueling the fire that is my creativity. So many times I let an obsession and new task take me, only to let it sit on the back burner a few weeks down the road. I cannot do that any longer. I have to stick with something and see it through. This task brings me peace and it keeps one of the last dreams I have alive. the dream of one day finishing a novel.

Here’s hoping I can see it through.


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I have arrived at the decision that this year I will successfully complete nanowrimo. You may ask what this is and I can see why you would ask such a thing. Nanowrimo stands for National Novel Writing Month. It is an annual event that occurs every november and revolves around helping aspiring writers to achieve the goal of writing a novel. The idea is to reach the goal of typing 50,000 words in the period of the month. Which equates to 1666 words per day. The thought is that by getting such a substantial amount out of the way in a month will help motivate the author to finish. Much of being a writer is just sitting down and making the time to write. First drafts are never perfect and it needs to be more about getting the thoughts and ideas out and letting the story take you down the road.

I tried this a few years ago and life got in the way and I fell a few thousand words short. Last december I decided to do my own little nanowrimo in december as I was late to the game. I wrote over 68,000 words in the period of 3 weeks which is pretty darn impressive if I do say so myself. Now I want to accomplish the goal during the event itself. Now I realize I have decided to do this just 3 days from the start of this years event. I need to decide what I should be writing about. I could pick up the story on one of three stories that I have substantial amounts down already. I have thought on any of these three and I believe the best route is to start over with a new idea. Now I have to decide what that is to be. This is not as easy as it might sound but when it comes down to it I believe this is the most exciting part. A story will begin to come together and build out of the ideas that bounce around inside the mind. I think I am leaning something towards sci-fi, and suspense. Maybe something a little dark a la Dean Koontz. I am excited to work on this again. I dream of one day having a novel published. I don’t even think it would be the idea of having it out there for others to buy, but more the fact that I would have a book with my name and title on it. Something that will always be there. For future generations to enjoy. Some day I will reach this goal. It is the one dream that I can still see myself accomplishing.

If anyone is interested check out http://www.nanowrimo.org/ If you want to join up with me or have questions let me know.




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I am going the classic blogging route here today and just posting a short blurb on what is on my mind. I woke up this morning feeling pretty good as I was able to get a full long nights sleep for the first time in a while. Lately I can fall asleep, but the second that I stir my mind goes into hyperdrive and I am up for good, no matter what time it may be. This morning was different, I woke but was able to go back to sleep till about 9:30, which was heaven. Now though, thinking that this should have been the foundationf for a great saturday, I am sitting here trying to figure out anything to do that will occupy my mind or hold my interest. I have picked up a book and read the first few pages, no luck there. I have tried a new pc game, no luck there. Nothing to watch as our satellite is currently doa. Tried thinking of another story with no luck. I tend to call these my A.D.D. days. Something has anxiety running through me and it ruins anything I try to do. So now I am just sitting here with my mind running a million miles a minute and my attention span down to zero. Days like this are so frustrating, I just want to bang my head against the wall.

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This will just be a short entry as I do have to work today. Hopefully tonight I will continue my series on my religious development or lack there of.

Vivid Dreams

Lately I have been having more instances of vivid dreams and other sleep related oddities. This includes having a period of sleep paralysis last week. I know our dreams are directly linked to our external influences and daily lives. They are also shaped by our past. My dreams have always been things that tend to remind of pain. Always of times past or things just out of the reach of my finger tips. Recently much more so.

My roommate has a theory as to why they are so much more so lately. I tend to easily become obsessed with things, hobbies, movies, books etc. My soup de jour has been Dexter. I love this series. It is the macabre sideshow that I am drawn to. If you have not watched the series or are not aware of it, it revolves around a serial killer who lives by a code and only kills murders who have escaped justice. While doing this he works for a police department in their forensics department. He is good at faking his life. Maybe that is another reason I love the show. The series is based on of books by Jeff Lindsay. I just started reading them and would highly recommend them to anyone who enjoys a good dark read. So Getting back to it my roommate has told me I should back off watching the show before bed. This is most likely very good advice. My subconscious must be firing up because of this. Though it does not take much to get my mind going in wild directions.

My roommate is the type who likes to have background noise while he tries to get to sleep so there are stretches where he would always have a movie on while going to bed. They would tend to be the movies he liked the most and can now pretty much recite them all. At one point the movie he had on a repeat cycle was American Psycho. He told me he had to stop after so long because it was beginning to influence his thoughts and dreams and was on his mind every day. I am not saying that it would make us do something terrible. That is laughable to me, but that does not mean it could not change the way we think.

So do I take his advice and find something more vanilla to entertain me before I drift off to sleep? I probably should, but we all know this obsession is not over yet. It will be in due time as anything else, that is my nature. For now I just enjoy something else I love and hope the dreams don’t torment me too much.

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