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Posts Tagged ‘present’

Time to take an aside from writing some prose and poetry and shed a little light on what has been going on in my life. Also I would like to thank everyone who took the time to read and also those who commented on my creative entries that I posted over the last couple of days. I appreciate your taking the time to read. I do get a lot of joy from creating something from scratch that comes from deep with in my mind. Anything I write has that much more truth when it is grounded in the reality of my life or feelings and that is true of what I have written recently. I also remember every time I return to my creativity just how much it relaxes me and allows me to feel like I accomplished something when I finish whatever project I am working on.

When it comes to my life and what has been going on with me I am still floating a little bit in the haze of my own wonderment. It still amazes me at how much my life has changed in such a short time. On the longer scale of things I have conquered and climbed a few mountains. On the shorter scale of time I have someone back in my life who I have always felt strongly about and now, this time around those feelings seem to be even stronger. To lose a soulmate and then have them return back into your life after so long is something that I am sure few will ever feel. Some of my friends and family are still hesitant but I know that we are both in much better places in our lives and have a firm foundation to create something so much better than we even experienced in the past.

Some times I still don’t believe that she is in my life. Sometimes I know that I am walking a little too softly afraid to step on any eggshells that might crack. I guess that caution is from knowing that there was a time when I essentially screwed up and took for granted the great thing that was in my life. That is beginning to fade now. I feel that I am more able to just be myself with out worry of stepping in the wrong places. I know more and more that she is with me now because the bond we have was strong enough to survive two years and be rekindled with just a little breath of wind. I feel like I can more and more be just myself. Not to say I was not that before, but I was also very cautious.

I am glad to see the support I am getting from my Dad and Brother. My brother is my best friend and my Dad has always been there for me, no matter what. A week or so ago My brother and his wife, Christina and I and some friends went out bowling and then we all ate dinner at my Brother’s house. We all had a good time and many laughs and things seemed to go very well. I know that Christina is very worried about being reintroduced to my family, and our close family friends. things did go a little messy when we split up, and things were said that should not have been. I worry about this too, as I just want most to be as open as they can and just see what we have right now. The present is the most important thing to live in. I know the time will come when all are comfortable with each other and I also know that the schedule for this will be set by her. All things will come in due time.

When it comes to things in other realms in my life all seems to be going well. I am trying to renew my attempts to become a little healthier. I can see that I have lost weight over the past year. I think the biggest thing is not drinking and not eating as much garbage, or bingeing when I do. More than anything I think that my body is just balancing out now. Even with this I realize I have to get out there and stay active. I have taken to walking every day. For at least 45 min to and hour. I think this is a good start and hopefully I will expand my efforts in the future. Maybe even look at a gym membership or the like. It would be nice to get back into lifting weights.

Work is going as well as ever. My numbers always seem to end the month well over what is expected. I can see after looking beyond the past year and what I am doing right now and every month seems to get better over the same month the previous year. I love my job more and more and count myself lucky to be doing something that I enjoy. July 1st will be my 2 year anniversary there and I can only hope for many more.

Think I have gone on for long enough, but it feels good to put down a good post on life again. Maybe tomorrow I will find the ambition to do some more writing.

Dan 🙂

 

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No matter how much we look towards greatness in the future and relive the mistakes of the past, the only thing that really matters is how we live our lives in the current moment. This is what really shapes us and it is the only thing that we can control. We can live with regret for the past but it will serve no purpose but to drag us down, and on the flip side if we put everything in the hopes of a great or better future we may be nothing but disappointed with the unreal expectations we put on ourselves. I am living for now, living to make this one day in front of me a little better then the last. If I do not, then I can start all over again tomorrow with a fresh perspective and clean slate.

Many will wonder where this is coming from and to be honest there is a great factor in my life that has me looking at what is different about me as a person right now. All I have is what is in front of me right now. And these are the things I can appreciate. Family that is there for me, friends that have my back, a job that I love going to every day and a little place to call my own. I have my hobbies and passions and all the little things that generally make me a happier and more comfortable person than I have ever been in my life. All of this tells me that I am ready for the changes that are coming and are already happening. The biggest change being that someone I have cared about greatly, and still do, is a part of my life again. Life has shown us both a course that has brought us up and down and now to a different place in our make up and understanding. We have both learned some lessons, some pain and some joy. Both of us now a little more mature and knowing of what truly is important in life.

The part of this that pulls on me is how to bring my family and friends into the fold and maybe shed some understanding on the situation. In the end I can’t worry too much on what others think of me. Such thoughts in the past have been poison to me. I know that the only person who really knows how I feel or what i can handle is myself. I know how I have changed and how far I have come and I will not sacrifice that. My life is on an upward path and that trend will continue. Bumps will still show up in the road but I now know how to cope with them and how to make sure that they are just bumps and not cracks that lead to a landslide. Life is always going to happen and some things, most things we have very little control over. I don’t know what the future holds but I know I can’t sabotage it by not taking some risks that may be worth it. Right now I have a great friend in my life to add to everything else I already have.

All any of us can do is live in the moment.

Dan

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